You Know What Really Grinds My Gears

You know what really grinds my gears...

When people drive straight in the turning lane... arrrgggghhhhhhh.  Who the expletive gave you the right to break the good ol' white man's laws ignoring the good ol' white arrow on the ground telling you this is a turning lane ONLY.  There are two lanes... the terribly long one that all the God-fearing, law abiding citizens lined up on to drive straight... And there's the turning lane that never has any cars in it because no one EVER turns off this road.  AND I'm still trying to figure out who signed the OK on giving the non-existing "turners" their own lane, but that's another gear-grinding for another day.  SO again, I ask, who do you think you are, huh?  Do I LOOK like I really wanted to be car #17 on this awful line of miserable, non-rewarded law abiding, road raged demons?  Don't you know I would LOVE to be on that empty turning lane laughing and flipping the bird to the 16 lined cars all staring blankly at the red light that will only turn green long enough to allow 3 cars to pass.  But I don't!  And you do!  You think your better than us?  HUH?


But it's OK...


Don't worry about it.


I'm going to rent Set It Off.


Then I'm going to get a ski mask, rob a bank, get away with 2 grand or so (don't worry, your money is insured).  I'm going to buy a hoopdie, something all black with no bumper and the grill exposed and I'm going to "play" bumper cars, ramming every car in the turning lane with no signal on.  Then I'm going to put it in reverse, then in drive again, and RAM you again.  Cuz I'm on to you... and I know what your doing.  And I want you to know, I DONT LIKE IT!


And if you just so happen to be from out of town and you drove past the line of miserable zombies thinking today was your lucky day to "find" the empty lane only to get close to that turning arrow and realize this is the turning only lane... let me apologize now for revving up my hoopdie, with the devil in my eyes and zooming toward you at 45 mph hysterically shouting... OBEY THE ARROW BIITTTCCC.... ahem, and calmly ask you to please follow the rules.


That is all.  


EYEListen.