All You Need to Know is I'm Nah-da-hoe

Jay-Z: All you need to know is I'm Nah-da-hoe and to get with me, you betta be Chief Lots-of-doe...

Ever so often I hear from the self-proclaimed "not a hoe" and I listen rigorously to her claims to enthusiastically enjoy the act of sexing. She assures me that her having multiple sex partners hasn't, isn't, and will not deem her a hoe because she is grown and fully aware of the decisions she is making. And so, I remain detached. Unbiased even. Cuz keep it real, depending on who's the judge, 3 or better sex partners can be classified as a hoe and on the flip side, 50 or better may sound like a woman who knows what she likes. So I, PERSONALLY, don't want to touch on who IS and who IS NOT a hoe.  But keep in mind, ME, Just J, has no intention, no hopes, no desire on wifing you. But MAN... he's your judge and your jury.  And if you don't care what I think, please consider that man's idea of what is and is not a hoe.  After all, he has the responsibility of wifing a woman who may have had more sex partners than his whole crew.  And unless you practice: don't ask don't tell, or skeletons in the closet who remain unaccounted for, or if you've straight up lost count yourself and 8 just sounds like a perfectly reasonable body count, you may want to slow down and try NOT batting a thousand.  As trivial as it may be to you... it's something about man's territorial nature that they prefer to BELIEVE they are their woman's first, last and only... or at least the only from his block, his crew, his job, etc...

But that's neither here nor there...

My issue is this: why exactly do you have so much sex?

And not sex in quantity as much as sex partners in quantity. No judging over here, mind you. And if sex really is like a hobby, so be it!  Taking pictures is my hobby and I can shoot as many as 500 shots in a day. So no way would I put a cap on the 500 back shots you may fancy a day! But... and I say aloud BUT, I need you to realize, there is a hugeeeee gap between enjoying the act of sex and using it to find true love. So again, sex as a hobby, thumbs up, live ya life. (Protected I hope... Pls click We Were in the Kitchen When You Burned Me ). But if you have been having a truckload of sex with hopes of finding true LOVE, shoot yourself in the kneecap! Go ahead, I'll wait!

Simple analogy, if I want to get the perfect camera shot, I have to use my camera wisely. I can't take millions of shots cuz when the perfect angle, pose, frame comes along, my battery may be dead, memory card full!!  I absolutely must save space! And you, Miss Promiscuous need to save face!

So...

If it's...

SEX 4 FUN: google "hobbies" and do some soul searching... read a book, join a gym, hell, write a blog!!  And when ALL else fails, I guess, sex as a hobby it is!

Or if...

SEX 4 LOVE: understand that sex for love is wayyy worst than sex for money.  You can't even pay your car note with love!  But how do you draw the line between avoiding the whole sex for love thing when really you're just enjoying the moment?  It's simple, stop seeking the satisfaction of an isolated moment.  Everybody wants to live in a moment and capture that immediate emotion of undeniable chemistry.  But why get caught up in a joy ride that 99% of the time has an abrupt end.  Ever been on a roller coaster that DIDN'T tell you to exit left?  But women don't seem to believe the end will be abrupt.  They think a man doing something nice or opening up to you translates into him wanting to spend the rest of his life with you.  No sooner than you're dropping the draws, he's dropping you off, never to be heard from again.  Meanwhile, your calling your phone company trying to see if a tower is down in your area because he hasn't called all week.  PSA: it's ok to hold off on sex when you have a personality!  Personality trumps, maybe not in a strip club, but definitely in a real life dating situation with a man interested in something serious.  Men don't usually wife one night standers... Possible... Just not probable!  Lure him in with your mind, then in a couple months, pull out that karma sutra move that makes his toes curl. 

But don't do this for me.  And don't simply do it for the man either.  Do it because I can always buy a new camera.  I can always pop in a new memory card.  And I keep spare batteries on deck.  But you, on the other hand, will be stuck with all your wear and tear, no chance for a tune-up and a stupid long carfax printout....

Whether I like it, you like it, or he likes it OR not, claims to love the act of sex and with multiple partners comes with consequences, a bad rep, and a label.  But hey, if you don't care... neither do I *bbm not interested face*.  But if you do care, which I imagine you do, turn in your cardboard WILL SEX 4 LOVE sign.  Quit selling yourself short.  Brush up on those good ol' personality skills.  And outsource to Great A for that occasional necessary thrill.  EYEListen.