Quarter Life Crisis

Everyone is all too familiar with the quarter life crisis. It’s the scramble to figure out who you are, what you are doing and what the hell is next. Perhaps you finished college a few years ago, you’ve been working for a year or two, or maybe three, and the lease on your apartment is almost up. Now you're trying to make the grown up decisions on whether or not to start house hunting, can you afford a new car payment and you’re budgeting for payments on your college debt. The pressure is on. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you this… honey, you are making excellent strides. You need not be so hard on yourself. Begin counting your blessings; weigh the extreme necessities against the materialism of life. Here’s an activity for you to bring things into perspective: grab a pen and pad and write down your biggest accomplishments of the last 5 years. Write down everything you believe is worthy of recognition. And in case your an overachiever, have a close friend sit with you who will remember to throw in the times you sat with your sick grandmother at the hospital, when you gave your last to help your mom pay a bill, when you took your nephew to his first basketball game. Achievements aren't always material, they're reflections of character too.


At this tender age of 25 we often measure our success against those around us, those on tv, those we read about, etc. We try to relive high school where we had to buy the latest trends, we had to make the biggest purchases and we had to keep up with what's current instead of what's relevant. Here are a few areas of relevant focus:

Your living situation: living with your parents is not such a bad thing as long as your working and you're contributing to the rent/mortgage. What IS bad is when you move out on your own and you're struggling to pay bills. But you're so worried bout what "people" will say so you continue to struggle. You can’t live to impress other people and you damn sure can’t live within THEIR means. What they eat don’t make you shit…

Your job situation: we're in tough economic times so to not have a job right now is pretty realistic. And I'm on your side if you say it’s not your fault. But if you're collecting unemployment, please stay out the clubs and malls. How are you trying to be the flyyest person on unemployment?? Stop treating unemployment like alimony as if you still need to maintain the same lifestyle. You do realize employed people (tax payers) are paying you every two weeks. Show some humility.

Your car situation: many people think it’s "in" to drive luxury cars, ok, nothing wrong with that. What isn't “in” is repo, car notes more than rent, and insurance in your momma name that you don't pay on. I'm jus saying, live within your means. Bouncing between jobs, working for a short month, a job that pays minimum wage... aren't grounds for swinging by the Benz dealership with a dollar and a dream. Swing by the kwik-e mart instead and play the Megas or at least 123 straight and box (NJ Pick 3).

Your financial situation: college debt is realistic, “makes sense” kind of debt. Credit card debt mainly from Neiman Marcus and Bloomies, is not making too much sense. I’m not in the business of insisting every penny earned is a penny saved because we should all enjoy life. But everything needs to be done in moderation. Finance 101 teaches you, don’t spend what you don’t have. Whether on unemployment, making big bucks, or nickel and diming, PAY DOWN YOUR DEBT!! It’s not a bad dream… you will wake up and it will still be there!!

Your future situation: I can’t even front, I have no solution or even a comment on this one. I’m still trying to figure it out… and that’s what brought me to write this post… I will say one thing, I refuse to become frantic. I’ve realized that you are always making up the future as you go. I’m sure the more responsibilities you have the tougher it is to procrastinate and you begin to feel overwhelmed. Just stop, take a deep breath and pace yourself. Think of it like a race with no timer. There will be hurdles and others running by you but if you take a look back at your progress, you’ll be your OWN motivation. Be happy. Be blessed. EYEListen.