One up on Love

I think I have a complex… a complex where I hate to feel like someone has one up on me. And I don’t mean in the competitive sense. I’m talking about hating to think someone has done more for me than I’ve done for them. If you give me a ride somewhere, I’d be sure to have given you 2 rides. If you take me out to eat, it’ll only be after I bought you a few meals. If you’ve loaned me 5 bucks… thanks because I probably needed it. But you get my drift. No guy can say he has done more for me than I’ve reciprocated.

Me and my first boyfriend were a poor couple. This was back when putting 2 dollars in the tank made sense. This was when borrowing 15 dollars to go to the movies actually got us both in the theater. This was when I had to hit up the piggy bank to catch a cab to his building. But I always made it happen. I found the doe, the time, the energy no matter what was at risk. I was like 17 and I remember I managed to get a hold of 75 bucks so this man could get a Tommy Hilfiger coat. LOL. He loved me though, so he held me down but it was because and only because, I showed him how to do it.
That 4 yr relationship was the foundation for the way I learned how to love. Going forward, I kicked ass for my boos. Even if they fell short.


I love loving hard. So I don’t need any pity when I run into a jerk that couldn’t understand and appreciate. You heard what Jay said, ain’t nothing wrong with aim, just gotta change the target. I’ve found a comfy seat at the short end of the stick… *shrugs*… don’t mind me, just venting a little.